"War on Christmas" Legal Team Gets PUNK'D!

HERE, at buffalobeast.com... there is a hilarious prank-call (transcript) to James Dobson's organization employing 800 attorneys(!) to fight the "War on Christmas." In the Courts, I guess.(?) [EXCERPT BELOW, but read the whole thing @ the link.] Signing off here, Herb.

THE BEAST:
The "War on Christmas" may be nothing but empty right-wing hype, but that hasn’t stopped Über-Christian James Dobson from ramping up his three-year-old "Christmas Project," organizing more than 800 lawyers to defend the baby Jesus. We called to pester his Alliance Defense Fund staff.

Alliance Defense Fund, ADF: Thank you for waiting. How may I direct your call?
:::
BEAST: Well, after I had this incident with my neighbor, I brought it up with the neighbor on the other side, and he told me about Mr. Dobson’s organization and the great things you people were doing.
ADF: Okay, all right, great. Um, okay, and what is the situation that you’re dealing with?
BEAST: Well first of all, praise Jesus
ADF: Okay. Yes.
BEAST: Second of all, all right, this neighbor. I don’t know where he’s from; I don’t know if he’s foreign; I don’t know what but, you know, we see him from time to time, and I say merry Christmas and he kinda gives me the slanty eyes.
ADF: Uh huh.
BEAST: Yeah, so I was wondering what I should do about that in the war on Christmas. Should I – is it ok to launch a preemptive strike, so to speak?
ADF: Well is he – has he done anything, or said anything about you saying “merry Christmas?”
BEAST: Well, you know, he doesn’t speak – his English is sort of broken. I can’t understand; he mumbles.
ADF: Okay.
BEAST: But it’s, you know, a hostile mumble.
ADF: Uh – okay.
BEAST: And he has some sort of decoration – I don’t know what they are, they’re like candles.
ADF: Okay.
BEAST: They’re taking the Christ out of Christmas.
ADF: Right, um, Ian, for this sort of situation, basically what I would probably suggest is, um, you know, whatever you’re doing – I know you want to, you know, keep Christ in Christmas, so we would suggest doing everything you can in your community to make it known that it’s still about Christmas. So, I don’t know if you have decorations up at your house –
BEAST: Well, we’re making a 50-foot – well, we hope to make it a 50-foot ice sculpture Jesus.
ADF: An ice sculpture of Jesus?
BEAST: Yeah.
ADF: And is that going to be in your front yard?
BEAST: Yes sir…ma’am, excuse me.
ADF: It’s okay.
BEAST: Praise Jesus. And you know, we’re only halfway done. We’re about up to the belly button. And, um, you know, I can tell this guy’s already looking at it like he’s gonna rip it down.
ADF: Okay. Well at this point, Ian, we – because we are an organization that intervenes and litigates for specific legal incidences, since there is nothing – you’re not involved in a legal incident right now – there’s not a lot that we can do – um…
BEAST: Well, the thing is uh, you know, we’re making the ice sculpture, so I got the hose out, and were rolling the snow and uh, you know the guy gives me the shifty eyes, and I just say, “Hey, that’s my Jesus.”
ADF: Right.
BEAST: That he’s shifting his eyes at.
ADF: Right.
BEAST: So I sprayed the water on his front steps and he fell.
ADF: And he fell?
BEAST: Yeah. Now he’s suing me, and that’s why I’m calling you.
ADF: Okay, so he’s suing you…
BEAST: Because he’s taking the Christ out of Christmas.
ADF: Okay, but basically he’s suing you because of the water incident and for his injury, correct?
BEAST: Yeah.
ADF: Okay, um.
BEAST: But it all stems from this, uh, religious confrontation.
ADF: Right. No, I understand that, and basically Ian, you know, we litigate and we were set up by Dr. Dobson and other founders to only litigate cases dealing with religious liberty issues and sanctity of life issues. Now, since he hasn’t taken action against your freedom of religion, there’s nothing that we can do in terms of the law to litigate against him
BEAST: Well, one of the legs fell off the Jesus.
ADF: Did he do that?
BEAST: There’s rumors...

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